Monday, October 27, 2008
Totem Pages: in progress
Okay, I spent some time this afternoon going through people's suggestions and making edits to the graphics. I haven't hit everything on people's lists yet because... well, it's time to get ready for class. But I thought I'd post what I've got thus far. I'm really happy how the bear and raven are turning out-- the frog still needs some attention.
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3 comments:
I appreciate that these seem to be posted at a higher resolution than the earlier ones -- makes them easier to read and review.
Consider changing the template "What is a totem?" line to: "A totem is an animal, plant, or natural object that has meaning to people."
Consider adding lines, a box, or other graphic device to the template "If you could choose . . .?" so that it is obvious that the child has a task to complete.
For the frog, consider adding an egg and a tadpole graphic.
For the bear, there is an extra space beginning the second paragraph and "Go outside and look for my tracks." sound kind of bossy.
For the raven, "reverberate" may bee too "big" of a word to use here and consider adding a totem pole graphic.
For the mountain goat, the hoofprint and the silhouette may be distracting. Add "National Park" in the first paragraph, drop the "t" from "weight" and the exclamation mark from the second paragraph.
Tree Frog
“Junior Ranger Totem” at top of page in large font in center of page
Include habitat
Black Bear
“Junior Ranger Totem” at top of page in large font in center of page
Great JR Matching! Could the human have hair?
Raven
“Junior Ranger Totem” at top of page in large font in center of page
Replace “kaugh kaugh” with “caw caw”
still missing “if you could choose a totem, what would it be”
Gary Snyder poem is in the Gary Snyder Reader you have Sourdough Lookout poem
“how are you like a raven (lowercase r)
Mountain Goat
“Cascades (plural) Explorer Totem” at top of page in large font in center of page
Michael,
The pages look great. Not sure if you are still incorporating the other comments I sent you. Another possibility for the text to make it more kid-friendly would be to fit it into a shape…i.e. inside bear track, inside the tree for the frog, in the mountain, etc.
Great work!
~ m
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